So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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