Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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