I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize