Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
