its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Randomize
