Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
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