I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
