Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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