so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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