Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
