is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
