The brown eye won't let me do that either.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
