Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Randomize
