Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
