no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
