When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
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