Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
