so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
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