So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
