ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
