There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Randomize
