Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
oh god the rape fog is back!
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
