her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
