Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
