His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
