I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize