This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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