I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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