i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
