Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
