I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
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