Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
