It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
