dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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