You really coming over, don't trick.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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