He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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