shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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