To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
