I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
