with your own penis?
a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
we should paint friendship bongs
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