You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
