My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
