Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
