i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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