Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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