These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize