i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
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