I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
