I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
