Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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