I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize