Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Randomize
