My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
