Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize
