just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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