My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize