Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
