it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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