..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
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