Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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