I think i peed on brittanys purse
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
