And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
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