She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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