think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
