Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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