Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
