Old men and throwing up are my life now.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Fuck appropriateness.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
sex in a hospital.. check
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
