i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize
