i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Randomize
